Awesome Things

Hey, guys. It's been a while. I know. My last post was on New Years Day and that usually falls on.... carry the two....... January 1st! Wow! Four whole months. Well, I'm still working on those resolutions. You should know... I already am more awesome than last year so, one down. Anyway, I thought I'd remind you guys how amazing I am with a compilation of awesome deeds I've already accomplished instead of a list of things I plan to accomplish. So, here it is:

1) I was flogged in a medieval town square for saving a peasant child from a noble. Of course, I had to travel back in time to do this.... Oh yea! That's two resolutions down!

2) I drained a lake with a garden hose to save a third world village from a cracking dam. They didn't make a statue of me but they did hang a portrait of me over the fireplace in the shaman's hut.

3) I uprooted a 80-year-old oak tree in someone's back yard to save a cat. The little girl was pretty ecstatic but her parents were pissed! They were all like, "You cracked the foundation of our home" and "My great great gradfather planted that tree when he settled this area" and stuff. Big whoop guys... I just saved a cat.

That's it for now. I'll be back with more awesome stuff later. Peace!

My New Year's Resolution

For the first time in over nine years... There are two 2's in the number of years since Jesus' mom couldn't get a room at an inn in Bethlehem. It's customary, I believe, to commit to doing something better or more often or perhaps not doings something anymore at the start of a new year. So, without further ado, here are a few things I've resolved to do (or not do) in TwentyDozen:

1) Try To Be More Awesome - This one is pretty much destined to fail. I'm almost certain that I'm already as awesome as a person can possibly be.

2) Travel Back In Time - This one I know I'll do. I ran into future me a few months ago and guess what? I'm sexy in the future too.

3) Become A Millionaire - To accomplish this, I just have to make good on a resolution I made a few years ago: to win the lottery.

4) Have A Statue Of Me Built In My Honor - I don't mean I want to commission a statue. I want a city or state or possibly a tribe from some third world country to erect a statue because of some heroic deed I've done like.... Diverting an asteroid with a stern look maybe. (Haha! I said 'erect'!)

5) Blow Something Up - I mean... Who doesn't want to make things explode? Plus, by this time I'll already have saved the world by diverting asteroids and stuff right? So, it evens out.

Well, that's about it. Pretty modest I think. Maybe I'll do more in 2013......