The maintenance man at my hotel is a freaking ninja! WAIT! Before you call me crazy, take a look at the facts:
1) He's supposedly Mexican but looks suspiciously Asian.
2) He always wears dark colors... Ya know, so you can't see him in the dark.
3) He drives a Bravada..... Who drives an Oldsmobile anymore? I'll tell you who. A ninja.
4) He doesn't speak ANY English. When's the last time you saw a ninja speak English? WRONG... You never hear a ninja speak.
5) He's got these weird throwing stars disguised as "tools".
6) He's always "fixing" things. Now there are traps laid all over my hotel! I'm certain of it.
7( <----- He turned this parenthesis around when I wasn't looking.
8) He moves completely silently! I never hear him until he makes a noise.
9) I always see him sweeping the parking lot.... AKA Hiding in plain sight!
10) I'm pretty sure that pole he uses to clean the pool is actually a katana.
So there you have it. Indisputable proof that my maintenance man is a ninja in disguise. Don't say anything though. He doesn't know I'm onto him.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
The One About 9/11
I didn't know anybody who was killed during the attacks on 9/11. I wasn't directly affected by them either. All I remember is coming to school less than a month into my freshman year of highschool and walking into my first hour geometry class to see everybody staring at the TV. When I turned around to see what was so interesting I saw the second plane crash into the second tower and I remember thinking, "Well, that was stupid."
It took almost the whole day for it to really sink in. Some fuckers just killed thousands of people. For no other reason than "Hey, Allah said so.... or something." And the real tragedy is that we used this atrocity to justify a war against the entire Middle-East.
Sure, at the time, I wanted to kick some ass too. I was so pissed that I enlisted in the army a couple years later actually HOPING I would get deployed. If you know me then you know that ended badly (read: pathetically) with an uncharacterized medical discharge for a back condition..... I, like a lot of other Americans, was ready to blame every bad thing that had happened in my life on Al Qaeda and Afghanistan and Iraq/Iran.
A few years, and a lot of life lessons later, I've come to realize that I don't hate Afghans and/or Muslims. In fact, the few that I know are pretty cool people and don't have any strong hatred of Americans and/or Christians. I let the actions of a few extremists color my view of an entire religion negatively and I sincerely regret that. Shame on me.
Ten years later, I can take a step back and look at things more objectively. And when I think about things this way, I realize that I have a brother, brother-in-law, and cousin who are all active military. And the last thing I want is for them to go over there. That would suck balls.
I won't get into the whole "should we/shouldn't we have gone to Iraq" debate. I have mixed feelings about it. Yea... Sadam was a douche. It's great that he's dead and no longer in power. But was it worth everything we've sacrificed? I dunno... Probably not. I'm sure there was a better way it could have been done. What I WILL say is that we've been there too long. It's time to go. Maintain a presence in the Middle East, sure. I mean we still have a base in Germany from WWII right? But I don't see why my brother's best man had to give his speech via recorded video because he was deployed to Kirkuk. (Wyatt, if you're reading this, the speech totally kicked ass. Loved it.)
I completely forgot what my overall point was for this... But if you take anything away from this, it should be that 1) I love my country more than my Grandma's chocolate chip cookies... And 2) 9/11 sucked for everyone. Even those of us sixteen hundred miles away who are still affected to this day because we have loved ones in the military.
That's all for now. I'll say more crap later.
It took almost the whole day for it to really sink in. Some fuckers just killed thousands of people. For no other reason than "Hey, Allah said so.... or something." And the real tragedy is that we used this atrocity to justify a war against the entire Middle-East.
Sure, at the time, I wanted to kick some ass too. I was so pissed that I enlisted in the army a couple years later actually HOPING I would get deployed. If you know me then you know that ended badly (read: pathetically) with an uncharacterized medical discharge for a back condition..... I, like a lot of other Americans, was ready to blame every bad thing that had happened in my life on Al Qaeda and Afghanistan and Iraq/Iran.
A few years, and a lot of life lessons later, I've come to realize that I don't hate Afghans and/or Muslims. In fact, the few that I know are pretty cool people and don't have any strong hatred of Americans and/or Christians. I let the actions of a few extremists color my view of an entire religion negatively and I sincerely regret that. Shame on me.
Ten years later, I can take a step back and look at things more objectively. And when I think about things this way, I realize that I have a brother, brother-in-law, and cousin who are all active military. And the last thing I want is for them to go over there. That would suck balls.
I won't get into the whole "should we/shouldn't we have gone to Iraq" debate. I have mixed feelings about it. Yea... Sadam was a douche. It's great that he's dead and no longer in power. But was it worth everything we've sacrificed? I dunno... Probably not. I'm sure there was a better way it could have been done. What I WILL say is that we've been there too long. It's time to go. Maintain a presence in the Middle East, sure. I mean we still have a base in Germany from WWII right? But I don't see why my brother's best man had to give his speech via recorded video because he was deployed to Kirkuk. (Wyatt, if you're reading this, the speech totally kicked ass. Loved it.)
I completely forgot what my overall point was for this... But if you take anything away from this, it should be that 1) I love my country more than my Grandma's chocolate chip cookies... And 2) 9/11 sucked for everyone. Even those of us sixteen hundred miles away who are still affected to this day because we have loved ones in the military.
That's all for now. I'll say more crap later.
Friday, September 9, 2011
And it begins
So, this is my first blog post. I mean after the initial post that was basically just me saying "Hey, I'm here." This is the first "for real" post.
Today has been a strange day. I woke up at 4AM and played with my iPhone, watched the current DVD I had in from Netflix (Season 1 of Cougar Town.... If anyone was wondering), and promptly fell back asleep at about 10AM. Woke up to a text from my boss saying "You know you work today right?" at 3:05PM. I was supposed to be at work at 3. Shit. So, I spent the first half of my shift in a half-asleep, zombie-esque state. I don't remember most of it. This isn't relevant.
Anyway, my boss's sister just recently showed up to check into a room that she (my boss) forgot to reserve for her (boss's sister). Apparently I knew her from a long ass time ago when I worked at the catalog desk in JCPenney. She brought this up to me by saying, "Didn't you used to be skinny?" Lovely. If there is a better way to greet someone you haven't seen in a very long time then I haven't heard it. Seriously, who says that? If I was a woman I'd be severely offended. Being a sensible man with a rather twisted sense of humor I just laughed it off. I gave her shit about it of course. It really didn't bother me much but I thought people only said stuff like that in sitcoms.
Well, that's all I have for now. I'm off to purge the meal I just ate so random women from my past won't call me fat anymore.
Today has been a strange day. I woke up at 4AM and played with my iPhone, watched the current DVD I had in from Netflix (Season 1 of Cougar Town.... If anyone was wondering), and promptly fell back asleep at about 10AM. Woke up to a text from my boss saying "You know you work today right?" at 3:05PM. I was supposed to be at work at 3. Shit. So, I spent the first half of my shift in a half-asleep, zombie-esque state. I don't remember most of it. This isn't relevant.
Anyway, my boss's sister just recently showed up to check into a room that she (my boss) forgot to reserve for her (boss's sister). Apparently I knew her from a long ass time ago when I worked at the catalog desk in JCPenney. She brought this up to me by saying, "Didn't you used to be skinny?" Lovely. If there is a better way to greet someone you haven't seen in a very long time then I haven't heard it. Seriously, who says that? If I was a woman I'd be severely offended. Being a sensible man with a rather twisted sense of humor I just laughed it off. I gave her shit about it of course. It really didn't bother me much but I thought people only said stuff like that in sitcoms.
Well, that's all I have for now. I'm off to purge the meal I just ate so random women from my past won't call me fat anymore.
This is my blog
Okay. This is awesome. I've finally created a "blog" so that I can obnoxiously inform everybody that I know of the random happenings in my daily life. I will also post judgmental observations of innocent bystanders here.... But don't worry, they probably deserve it. More to come. Prepare to be mildly amused.
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